


world still spinning

by calscardigan



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Reminiscing, Richie Tozier-centric, Short, im sorry, like seriously, this one hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 20:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calscardigan/pseuds/calscardigan
Summary: On his own, he never would've left without Eddie. As it is, he isn't sure he wouldn't rather be down there anyway.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, technically - Relationship
Kudos: 7





	world still spinning

The other losers have to drag Richie out kicking and screaming. On his own, he never would've left without Eddie. As it is, he isn't sure he wouldn't rather be down there anyway. 

What is Richie supposed to do now? Ben and Beverly are disgustingly in love, Bill and Mike are off to do….whatever it is they do. Is Richie supposed to sit and watch as his friends just move on, as though not only one but two of their closest friends weren't fucking gone? Because, god, Richie only just got him back. He walked into the Jade Orient and saw Eddie for the first time in 27 years, and not even a week later he was screaming as he saw Eddie for the last time. How is he supposed to just walk away from that?

What can he do?

He can sit at the funeral, silent tears falling down his face. Watching the casket, knowing there was no body there. Knowing the body sat under the collapsed sewers of Derry. He can stand in the parking lot as Eddie's wife screams at him, telling him it's all his fault. He can't find a single reason to prove her wrong. 

What can he do?

He can go back to Derry, jacket he stole from Eddie's suitcase wrapped tight around his shoulders. He can find that spot on the kissing bridge, pocket knife in hand, and carve those three characters back into the wood. He can allow those feelings he felt so long ago to fill him again. He can cry.

What can he do?

He can throw himself into work, writing bit after bit. He throws off his stupid fucking persona. His agent hates him. He doesn't care.

He can lay in bed in the dark at night, staring at the ceiling. He can try to remember what he felt seeing Eddie for the first time in 27 years, but all he can feel is sadness. He looks back on his favorite memories, tainted now with the regret of 27 years wasted and the pain of a future stolen. 

He would've kissed him. Just two more seconds, and he would've done it. Just two more seconds, he finds himself lamenting. He could've had it, the thing he'd wanted his whole life, even when he couldn't quite remember what it was. 

If he could go back and do something, anything, differently, he'd tell Eddie as soon as he saw him. He'd hug him and spill his guts out, tell him he was just as hung up as Ben with his yearbook signature. He wouldn't be such a fucking pussy. He'd tell him everything.  _ Everything. _

But now...what can he fucking do?

He can lay in bed, sobbing and wishing, and wonder how the world can still spin when the best thing in it is gone. 


End file.
